Over-eating on Carbs

So I wrote the other day about how I'd been eating too many carbs and I wanted to stop. (Okay right now, place your bets, did I do it? 😉 ) I've been trying to be better about it, but long story short, I'm still having trouble. I am well and truly addicted to carb-y foods.

I have a theory about why I'm still having SO MUCH trouble cutting back. I think it's because if I tell myself I cannot have this thing, I listen to myself? Like, I seem to have no trouble when I completely cut something out of my diet. I did it with soda a while back, and I started the new year going gluten-free. But that's only because I set a strict standard. I can have the other stuff, but just not wheat. And that's a good enough reason to stay away from it. But if I tell myself I can have a little bit of something, then I start to over-indulge. That's what happens when I eat carbs.
Now, at a restaurant like Moe's, I have no problem because they only give me a portion of rice anyway. It's about half a cup, sometimes less. And so that's all the rice I'm allowed, and I can't get any more. Also, I'm not controlling my portion size. I never tell them how much to give me.

I made rice yesterday, and I made a TON of it (double the serving size). And as I was thinking about making it, a little voice in my head said "this is gonna make you feel bad." But did I listen? NO. Of course not. And as I poured out 1/2 cup uncooked rice, I thought again "I shouldn't do this." I knew it was going to make me feel bad, but I thought that maybe it wouldn't be like, that bad. It's only a little bit too much, right? But once I started eating, I didn't stop till I'd eaten all of it.

(Here's where I explain this a little more. I'm not totally powerless in this. But I do watch YouTube videos while I eat and that distracts me, so I eat everything on my plate. Usually it's okay because it's meat and veggies. But when I eat carbs, I pay no attention to how full I am. Instead I half-heartedly monitor how much I have left, and eat till I've cleared my plate.)

Over-eating stuff sucks. I don't want to do it, but I find it happening a lot. And afterwards I feel sick and sluggish because I'm not supposed to eat this much, or be this full. And the thing that frustrates me is that I absolutely KNOW I'm going to feel this way, and that I WILL over-eat if I make carb-y things. It's like a have an off-switch for my brain that shuts off all logical functioning that tells me NOT to eat the rice/potatoes. So, I guess I need to rewire my brain?

I don't know how to do that right now, and I don't want to make any promises about not over-eating.

I think it also makes me feel good too. To over-eat and just be SO FULL. It's weird, because I have never gone without a meal, but my brain wants me to think I have? It's not like I will starve or anything because I didn't have a potato with dinner, or a bowl of rice with lunch. There are more filling options for me, but I just need to learn to choose them instead of the bad foods.

This isn't supposed to be a lesson or anything, just me ranting about my thoughts on food and carbs.

If you struggle with this, please leave me a comment! I want to hear from other people that I'm not alone in this!

Anyway, have a good weekend and rock on! ✌
Sam